Getting real and staying positive

Getting personal today!  And getting real with all my fellow cancer survivors!  When I was going through treatment I wrote a blog and it was so therapeutic--and a nice way to keep everyone updated on what was going on!   Since beating my cancer diagnosis I haven't kept up the blog but I started SaltyGirl so most of my energy outside of family goes there!  This blog post brings me back a little---a little therapeutic but also a message to stay positive! And a reminder of why we wanted to start SaltyGirl---educate, build community and keep it real on all levels! 

When you are a cancer survivor, the idea of cancer and reoccurrence never really leaves your mind. Since the beginning of December I have had a headache, nothing debilitating, but there in the background not going away!  So all these questions start running through your head!  Did I drink enough water today?  Did I consume too much sugar or salt that is making me feel this way??  Or do I have a brain tumor?  Am I super stressed out?  Or has my cancer gone to my brain? It must be the holidays?  Or has the cancer come back?  Do I have a sinus infection?  OMG has my cancer spread? 

This was the daily conversation happening in my head over the last month!  Finally (don't ask why I waited so long to call) last week I called Dana Farber and had a Brain MRI done on Friday.  To say the last several weeks, and more specifically the last few days have not been stressful is an understatement.  (Thank god for family and an amazing husband)

I don't think I realized exactly how this has effected me until I got the call this morning...a happy call..... that my results came back clear, and I am fine!  I hung up the phone with the nurse practitioner and fell into tears---happy tears, relieved tears but also some sad tears that I even had to go to that place!  

Anyone that knows me, knows I am a VERY upbeat, optimistic person---sometimes it can even get annoying for those around me!  I think it is silly to be negative......if you are not happy---make a change!  We all have a choice in life!  And my choice is to be happy and create happiness around me!  

I also have thought about what I would have done if my results came back with different news?  I would probably be pretty angry, depressed, sad, I honestly can't imagine ---, I have played that call in my mind over this last week and then I have to shut it down.  But I hope I would let myself grieve and then put a plan in place, do whatever I could do to fight like hell and enjoy my life!  Cause at the end of the day, none of us know what tomorrow will bring!  

I can only hope it brings all of us much LOVE, HAPPINESS, JOY and HEALING!  

And to all the cancer survivors out there---I remember Leah telling me from our day of diagnosis we are survivors and we fight like hell for each day!  And that has been my plan---fight like hell, enjoy each day, Find Optimism around me, Be the point of Optimism for others, and have fun doing it all!


love and hope,